light and dark

some of the lesser things of yesterday:
-all day headache
-losing my lavender plants to a curious son, ending in my favorite vintage orange velvet couch being smothered with soil and seeds
-having to go grocery shopping at night, just to be alone

the greater things of yesterday:
-taking Jonah to discovery place, feeling him nestled into my side at the dinosaur puppet show. He isn’t usually very cuddly, so I treasure it when it comes.
-Buying a weeping willow plant – we used to pass these growing by the path when I was young, on our way to school. I’d pick a bud and keep it in my pocket for later, because they’re quite possibly the softest thing you’ve ever felt. So seeing one at Trader Joes flooded a memory over me – I felt the cold biting air, the sound of the gravel under my feet, the butterflies in my stomach as I walked to my new school. And the warm softness of that strange plant in my pocket, between my shaky, insecure 8 year-old fingers.
-walking past the oranges at Wal Mart – I hate Wal Mart, but I have to go. The oranges’ scent wafted under nose and I stood there for a what felt like a stolen moment, just breathing it in, breathing in the promise of summer, breathing in refreshment from a dreary afternoon.
-feeling depserate for God’s presence in the car – my first moment alone all day and I was literally thirsty just to connect with Him – I can say for the first moment in a very long time that I tangibly feel my need for God. And of course He is faithful – He was already waiting.