best and worst

best thing about today: peeling huge, creamy soft wadges of paint from the paint tray after the finishing touches to my kitchen. You remember that feeling when you would peel glue from your hands when you were small? Magnify that by 100. mmmmmm

worst thing about today: digging my hand down into the unknown vaults of an a/c vent to pull out 20 puzzle pieces and a rubber ducky. Remember that scene Flash Gordon? yup. creepy.

take a deep breath, and take the plunge

Annie

When Kevin and I arrived in London we had about three hours to kill before our hotel room was ready. So we daundered outside, tired from the flight, cold from the biting winter air, but electric with expectation and joy. We stumbled upon Trafalgar square without trying, and more than that, we stumbled upon the National Portrait Gallery that was holding a show of one of my ultimate favorite portrait photographers, Annie Leibovitz. I couldn’t believe it! Her life’s work spread out for all to see, her story, its beauty and its pain documented so delicately in photographs.

After walking through there, reading her stories and gazing at each image large and small, intricate and plain, I understood why I love this, why I love photography. I’m still not even sure I can put it into words. There is something about capturing something very real, keeping it still and seeing it change. A frozen moment in which anything can be taken from it when at the time it passed so quickly you didn’t even think about it.

I plan to take a class at college in the fall, when Jonah goes to pre-school. I really need to learn so much more, and I have great faith that this is a fruitful journey, this art. I’m also excited to have something that is really my own.

New Mercies

I stir in my bed, longing for just a little more time, and He comes in a quiet breath to the room. Whispers of new mercies pull me from my sleep. I’m not ready for today, already weary with illness that always seems to return, with so much to do, so many things to worry about. But He steals it all with one glance – steals away the strings and threads of fear, sickness and anxiousness for a moment of loving song over my head.

Thanks for your new mercies this morning Daddy. I needed your breath on my heart today. I need you to stay with me, to draw me out so that I can worship You, and experience the new life you placed inside me. new mercies, Grace, Spirit, so beautiful in my weakness….

Our Journeys begin to be written

We have been so many places lately and there are hundreds of stories to tell from our journeys through the UK over Christmas and New Year. I do not know where to begin and it would take me days, so I shall pick a picture and tell a story whenever I may happen to remember for you, dear readers and friends.
And so to the first…

New Year in Scotland, we drove up through Perthshire. This is between Blairgowrie and Braemar. It was so cold it stopped your breath for a split second. We gazed across these lands and stopped every 10 minutes for a photograph (of which I will post many!) – I could barely capture the magnificence in these hills and half-frozen rivers. We saw stags in groups of 10 and more high up on the crags, their antlers silhouetted against the sharp cold skies. I remembered home beautiful, but this was fresh, stark, and outlandishly glorious.

I have cold crisp new memories now. Not that they replace the worn warm soil of the old ones of course. They have just been added to with bright new color. And so, I begin to feel another inch whole, another inch alive…

Merry Christmas from Broadcast Safe

In our new studio Meredith on the (broken) glockenspiel and vocals, myself on the omnichord and vocals, and my dear Kevin on the bowed guitar and vocals. What fun we are having here – last night we had worship practice for Sunday (hence the holy night) – we spent time just worshiping and soaring through the music – I love this place being right under my house! So incredibly blessed right now….

It’s a dreary, glorious day outside as I sit in the front room of our new home. I’m resting up after a long time of being sick, until it came to a head on Friday night with a stomach flu. It couldn’t have come at a worse time, with three shows this weekend and just moving house and all – but at least I got to be sick in my new home, where I feel comfortable and settled and peaceful. We still got to play the first of our three shows, having to cancel the other two. We played (we being Broadcast Safe) at Tremont Music Hall for Public Radio’s EP release. We were honored and excited to play – every time we play my heart leaps a little further out, and I begin to see glimpses of what is ahead for us, little inklings of adventure. We have connected with someone who will be willing to help us record our first EP, and of course we have the facility in the new home to do so. The studio is such a blessing, such a creative space for us that we have so needed. I hope to steal some time down there when Jonah sleeps to record something folky, something rootsy and vibrant. I always seem to be promising new recordings of my songs, but of course now there is not an excuse. It may take time, but I am going to commit to keep writing and recording my own album. With Broadcast Safe and our Worship projects underway, it feels more alive to be living this way. Committing to work at our craft, seeing it through to the end and bringing new things to life. It is definitely time.

oh what a love

The Love of God hit me out of nowhere today. Out of no man’s land, the place I’ve been traveling these past few days. I’ve been wandering a little lost, in a miniature whirlwind of stress. Any place I am in that is without the constant counsel of God’s word and my heart flitting in response is a lonely, stressful worrisome place – and that’s where I have set up camp for some silly reason.

Today, in a house full of packing tape and boxes, emails and phone calls, I stopped and thought about Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. This past Sunday at church we washed one another’s feet. I heard my pastor say that sad things don’t tend to move him nearly as much as pure goodness does. I know what he meant by that, when today I heard the words sung “Oh what a love, that a King would wash His servants’ feet” – it was like everything dowdy and grey fell off my shoulders to reveal the love hidden beneath, gleaming and real. That is how I know He is God – because He does everything backwards – He steps down from a mighty throne as the maker of heaven and earth, puts on a skin of a lowly carpenter, and washes the dirty stinking feet of his friends – the ones He loves. the sinners. me.

The soil is humming

When Kingdom-dwellers walk upon the earth, the soil begins to hum songs of the saints. I feel it reverberating beneath me, the leaves in movement to life underneath. The grass is alive, the soil is rich, the trees are twisting to the winds of change. Creation calls for the sons of Glory to be revealed and for our songs to pour out of our mouths, hands, feet – songs of redemption, reconciliation, renewal. Songs that break chains of injustice and bring the love of Christ to lost ones hidden beneath a social sea of pretending.

I am breathing deeper today – struggling to do so, with sickness looming over me from days past, but nonetheless, His faithfulness causes me to breathe deeper. Anxiety holds no place in my heart, though my head tells me there’s good reason to worry. I’m tired of worry. I need to rest in peace today. A certain kind of peace that only comes from settling down, and absorbing the words of the Father deep deep deep into my soul

New website is done, although the text needs tweaking but I am too tired this glowy cool evening. The site is more geared towards showing my photography portfolio, because that’s what’s going to bring in the money hopefully as we embark on a new adventure – we are buying a house! and not just any house – a house where the belly of it holds a beautiful professional music studio built into its walls. And another space I am dreaming things for, like an art studio for not only myself but a whole slew of creative worshipers – dreams are bursting out whenever I think of what we can host in this new home, not to mention the space for our instruments (finally Rodney Rhodes can come out of storage!) Please pray with us as the Lord finds someone to rent out our current apartment – we took a huge leap of faith on this one. He knows what we can and can’t do with what we have, and between myself and God I know fully what He will move His hand to to make this work – and I know He will. As my mum always says, “I know it in my knower.”

Kevin and I have come in from the porch, sipping hot cider and admiring our newly carved pumpkins – we were like little kids, it’s the first time either of us have ever carved one. all giggly and messy. Kevin carved the apple mac logo, of course, and I carved a creepy tree. Rather proud, I am. Maybe tomorrow I will carve one for Jonah bear. He did help pick the pumpkins, whilst also shrieking at the wee dog at the pumpkin stall, with sheer unabashed delight. I love the flamboyant expressions of joy and tears that come from my son – he’s exuberant and unapologetic about it. My heart swells at the thought of him – my son my son my son…